tick-tock goes the vampire clock

the clock ticks. and every day it can't go fast enough for me. everyday in my cubicle i long for home like i haven't been there for years. but now time is catching up with me. and i'm nowhere near where i want to be. nowhere.



an office job. a cubile. and not even a lot of money.



i blame the teachers.



i blame the parents.



i blame Joseph Campbell.



and Bon Jovi for reminding me that it is my life.



i blame everybody that ever gave young people hope; anyone that said everything will be fine if you just "follow your bliss". i wonder how many of us said, "well golly, i'd love to have a cubicle and work 40 hours a week in the operations of an outsourcing company!"? even "my dream is to be an accountant!" sounds exciting compared to that. perhaps i'm in this very place because i never believed them. or maybe because they were wrong. liars.



the job is not entirely without redemption, however. the experience is essential and the opportunities are numerous. it is a sort of limbo where people are suspended in a sort of half-life while they wait for something better. it isn't quite hell and it isn't quite heaven, but both could still be reached from this place. unfortunately while living half a life you lose a whole one, as the full seconds tick by. Murdering you slowly, but always faster than you want.